Lukey Boy

I got a double dose of Luke last week. Visits had been sparse. His kids have had travel hockey every weekend and me living 30 minutes away isn’t helpful. As I was driving home from work on Friday he called though and asked if I wanted company.

He ended up coming over around 10pm and brought me iced coffee. I had just finished doing some serious cleaning as we was getting there so I left him to entertain himself while I showered. While I was in the shower he installed my window AC unit without me even asking him! Words can not describe how excited I was.

It’s Friday night, there’s a big, tall, bearded man lying in my bed wearing khaki shorts and a V Neck t-shirt with my kitten sleeping on his chest. Not only that, but he brought me iced coffee and installed my AC. It’s stupid, but I’m incredibly turned on.

Side note, I got a cat… well, a kitten. She’s all black, affectionate but a little ass kicker. I’ve named her Lucille… As in Negan’s bat Lucille… you know… from The Walking Dead. Luke, who isn’t a pet person loves her. He picks her up and carries her around. She fits in the palm of his hand. He kisses her, gives her love, calls her a him and says they’re best friends. It’s pretty entertaining.

We spent the night cuddle up in bed watching movies/tv shows. He does this thing where he puts his hand just inside the waist band of my undies and rests his hand on the top of my butt. He doesn’t know it, but it drives me nuts… good nuts.

The thing is though, that he slept over. He’s done it a few times when we start to get into relationship territory but then freaks himself out and backs off. It’s been awhile. Normally we end up falling asleep but then we wake up at 2 or 3 am and leave. I’m better at leaving than he is, but I think that’s just because he has kids sleeping in the next room when I’m there. As much as I’d love to meet his kids, I don’t think in their Father’s bed is the best way to go about that.

He slept over Friday night though, and wasn’t in a big rush to get out of there in the morning. I normally don’t sleep well when he’s there but I slept without issue. It was actually kind of nice.

I feel conflicted. The more I’m with him the more I want him. I have no urge to date any one else. I’m talking to a couple different people right now but I’d drop them all in a heart beat to be exclusive with Luke. He’s not emotionally available though. He changes his mind frequently. He wants me, but can’t commit…. but boy does he look good in my bed. If only I could keep him there.


Dating On Friday

I started a second blog! This one is specifically for all of the screenshots I take of the messages I get on dating sites. My friend’s and co workers find it pretty funny when I post them on Instagram so hopefully a broader audience will agree with them!


Check it out, tell your friends, laugh at my misfortune… I do!

Navigating The Dating World

I have a date tonight. It’s a second date with the gentleman I met for lunch a couple weeks ago. I’m working 12 to 9 today so we’re meeting up for a late movie. He agreed to go see Spiderman Homecoming even though he’s not a fan of superhero movies. I offered to see something else but he insisted.

I’m feeling a little guilty/conflicted. This guy is incredibly nice. He actually works at the same company as my step dad and knows him well. Small world. He’s fresh out of a marriage though. His wife left him a month ago. I know that I started dating a couple months after my former husband left, I started dating Luke actually, but I wasn’t ready and nothing materialized between us until a year later. I suppose everyone is different but when he says he’s ready I don’t buy it.

Then there’s my feelings to take into consideration. I’m not entirely attracted to this guy. I’m not sure if I could see myself being anything more than his friend. If I had to choose between him and Luke there wouldn’t even be a moment of thought put into it. It’s be Luke. I just look at Luke and I melt. It’s possible I could develop feelings over time… that’s how it was for my former husband. I was iffy on Luke to start too… but I was physically attracted to Luke and I settled when it came to my former husband.

Luke is unable to commit. I’m emotionally invested in Luke. I don’t think this guy is ready for a relationship. He might just need a distraction. So… is it ok to be that distraction? Is it ok to see where this goes? Or was it wrong of me to accept his offer of a second date? I need to see other people that aren’t Luke as I can sit around hoping and waiting that he’s going to realize I’m fucking amazing. I need to continue looking for someone who meets my needs and checks all my boxes. But I don’t think I’m willing to cut Luke loose just yet… at least not for this guy.

I don’t know how dating works, especially dating in 2017. If I’m not committed to anyone is it wrong to go out on dates with multiple people? How does this work?  I really don’t know how to navigate this. It’s just a movie right? Not a big deal right? If it’s not a big deal though than why do I feel so guilty?

My Weekend Was Better Than Yours


I took the day off work. Slept in, then picked my brother up around 11:30am and headed to Toronto. We stopped in at my friend’s place so I could give him money I owed him and then headed to the Eaton’s Center. We wander the mall, did some shopping, then drove to Yorkdale where we continued to shop and eat Chipotle Burritos. We followed this up with an Ed Sheeran concert. Great Day.



Drove to my sister’s house to have a family BBQ to celebrate my brother’s 16th Birthday. I can’t believe that kid is 16. I’m so fucking old. Drove back to my new home city. Stopped in at EB games to preorder the new Southpark game and picked up dog food at a grocery store in the same plaza. Went to my Mom’s and played injustice 2 with my brother. Stopped at my place to feed and take out the dogs. Took my brother to see Wonder Woman. Solid Day.



Slept in far later than I should have. Showered and then went to the mall to pick up a Pop Vinyl my brother had on hold for him. Picked my Brother up from work and then took him to his girl friend’s house to celebrate his birthday with her family. Went out with my Mom and she bought me a milk shake. We did charcoal face masks and painted our nails. I played injustice 2 and she fed me dinner. Then I drove back to Cambridge to hang out with Luke before he had to work. Watched part of Super Troopers in his car. Decent day.



I’m working 12-9 today and not a fan of it. I have a head ache and time is moving super slowly. I’m broke and tired but there’s gas in my car, food in my fridge, and I think Luke is coming over tomorrow morning before I work. Things could be worse.