I have officially been on my own without my husband for over a year now. In that year I’ve basically become a completely different person. At first these changes were made to repair my marriage. I now realize that these changes were to repair me.
In the last year I went out and got a job that I love going to. I got help and medication for my anxiety. I got my G1 drivers license and if I pass will have my G2 on Tuesday. I was approved for and bought a car entirely on my own. I lost weight. Most importantly I have realized that I have value as a person and deserve so much more than I was being given. I deserve happiness.
I have come to terms with the fact that my marriage is over. That if he really loved me he wouldn’t have allowed this to happen. He wouldn’t have allowed his family to do this. He wouldn’t have continuously put his hobby before our marriage. It was challenging and difficult and heartbreakingly painful. I’m still here though. Stronger, more confident, and still standing.
Today I impulsively decided to chop my hair. It seems a little stereotypical to chop it after a break up but it’s time. My hair has been incredibly long for a very long time. He loved my dark long hair and I loved that he loved it. I’m not that girl any more though. I’m not that girl that thought he loved me. I’m not sure how I feel about this change, surprisingly it feels like the biggest I’ve made. The good thing though is that it’s just hair and that hair will always grow back.