I had my first in car driving lesson on Sunday. It was such an amazing experience. A little nerve wracking at first, but overall it went exceptionally well. I’m so egar to get my own car and have the independence of going where I want when I want. My next lesson is this coming Thursday!

Here’s a picture of my epic park job



At this present moment in time I am lying on my freshly made bed with my freshly washed sheets listening to what sounds like a puppy being murdered. Don’t worry though, no puppies are being harmed. There’s just an 8.5 week old Retriever mix in my living room who doesn’t want to be in her crate.
I got a puppy yesterday. It had been over a month since Milo had died. I’m coming up on the one year anniversary of my husband leaving, my one sister is having her baby next week and the other just found out that she is having a girl. I needed something good in my life right about now. I had been casually looking on kijiji for a couple weeks but nothing really spoke to me… Until Thursday.
I found an ad for Retreiver lab Shepard cross puppies. Eight out of the ten puppies looked just like a retriever. Already having a retriever who happens to be a perfect I thought that maybe one of these puppies were what I had been searching for. By the time I get there, there is only one puppy left. She has the retriever look with what seems to be Bernese Mountain Dog colouring. I took her home and after 12 hours and about a dozen possible name choices finally settled on Jersey. I’m in love with her.
Except when it’s bed time. I would assume that crate training is similar to sleep training. As the parent to a human or a puppy you basically sit, riddled with anxiety, as your baby cries out for you. The only difference is that your neighbours are probably more sympathetic to the new parents of a tiny human than a barking dog. How long do you leave them in there? 10 min? 30 min? Until they stop? I’m not sure if crate training is more painful for her or for me. After 15 minutes I went down and let her out for a few minutes. Gave her some love and treats and put her back in. 15 minutes after that both dogs are in my bed getting hair and drool all over my freshly washed bedding.
Crate training Swarley seemed like cake but I had forgotten how hard it was for me to sit and listen to my new baby cry. I was so determined to make this work but it was painful. The first night he barked for 30 minutes. The second was 15 minutes. The third was 5 and the fourth night there was silence. Ever since he has been a dream. He loves his crate. I just wish Jersey would take note, although she’s great if she is in the same crate as Swarley.
Here are some pictures.

Self Care

In my blogging absance I have taken the last few months to focus on what my new Nurse Practitioner refers to as self care. It’s a process but I feel like I’m in a better spot emotionally and physically than I was before. I’m not where I want to be just yet but I’m on my way.

I’ve been taking medication for anxiety. Aside from the headaches I’ve noticed a positive change. I’m not getting panic attacks or over thinking everything. It’s easier to interact with people and contribute to conversations. I have more motivation to get out and do things. I’m not living in my room.

I recently had to put down my 9 year old yorkie. It was a difficult thing to do and I cried for a solid week. I made the decision to do what’s best for him though even though it was incredibly challenging.

I am half way through drivers training. I finished the in class portion with a 90%. Just waiting for my in car instructor to email me back so I can get started on that. Completing a drivers training course allows you to get your G2 after 8 months. The 8 month mark for me is April 22nd. I’m ready to get on the road!

Thanks to benefits I went for my first massage on the weekend. I’m a little sore now but it felt good. They direct bill my insurance so I’m going to keep going. My next appointment is April 30th.

I can now fit into Old Navy size 16 jeans. This time last year I was wearing a 26. This pleases me.

Work is going great. I love it here and they seem to love me. Being able to pay my bills on time is amazing.

I made a lasanga to have for dinner tonight and was pretty hardcore about it. I’m pleased.

I’m doing okay.